I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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