I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
