If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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