He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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