Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am one with the molecules
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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