he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
