dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
