Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'd cum for enchiladas.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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