oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i now understand why vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
