and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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