yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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