I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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