I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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