The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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