I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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