I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
