I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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