so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
