Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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