the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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