Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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(517): View more from Michigan

i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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(530): View more from California

He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man

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(614): View more from Ohio

I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.

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(567): View more from Ohio

I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over

(567): View more from Ohio

You made the right decision

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(503): View more from Oregon

My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.

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