I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
In America we eat man semen.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
