My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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