Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
