I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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