Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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