But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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