Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
