All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
