its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
These tits shall not be calmed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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