pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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