she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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