Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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