Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
