Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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