Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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