So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
