You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize