Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
