I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
