one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
