Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
