how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
