He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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