i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
