a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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