you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
