i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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