Where did you get a picture of my penis
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
