I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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