Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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