I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
