Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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