Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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