It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
