But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
