im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
