We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
