i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
