yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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